I (Mary) was cutting some papers on the paper cutter in the workroom earlier today.

I slipped a lil bit and sliced my finger…it hurt super super bad, but I dramatized it even more than that.

I went out to Britt’s desk and told her that I cut my finger off.  She goes, “WHAT!?!!”…I repeated, “I chopped my finger off!!”

Her reply was, “Well did you just leave it lying on the floor?!?!”

Wow.

We saw our neighbor from across the hall the other night on our way in.

We exchanged our usual casualties, “Hey what’s up?”…”Not much, how bout you?”..etc.

Then he told us he feels a lil weird and zoned out because he is in the middle of detoxing so he can pass his drug test for his new job. Apparently there is a detox drink for weed, which was news to us.

We wished him good luck and bid him farewell.

Maybe they’ll get rid of that bong now.

The other morning we stopped at Starbucks on 23.  We needed our coffee.

The reason we needed our coffee was because we were tired…and drowsy..not awake, if you will.

Can we just tell you how annoying it is to talk to someone who is perky, lil mis sunshine, at 7:30 in the morning when you’re tired and not in the best of moods.  Now we’re not talking about just your everyday, friendly person…but this girl was “hi, I’ve had two perkocets  and three vicodins this morning, can I do you the lovely honor of taking your order here at Starbucks?”  yea, I know..it was bad.

When I asked if we could do two separate orders she said, “You want to do two orders?..O sure that would absolutely be fine, that’s definitely something we can do for you here at Starbucks!”…thanks, a simple yes would have been sufficient.

I think they should meet the customer where they are at, not bombard them with their overeager good mood.

But that’s just me.

Every now and  then we have these weird mornings where we can’t stop laughing and talk about the most ridiculous things…today was one of those mornings!

For some reason we were feeling somewhat vengeful and proceeded to make up elaborate stories about ways we would retaliate against those whom we feel have wronged us.

Then..we decided we were like Pinky and the Brain..and then sang the theme song..twice.

Sometimes Mary is Pinky and Britt is the Brain, and sometimes Britt is Pinky and Mary is the Brain..depending on our mood.  And sometimes, we are both the Brain and we have to recruit the Pinky.

Pinky:”Hey Brain, what are we gonna do today?”

Brain: “The same thing we do every day Pinky…TRY AND TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!”

Well Neil, we stopped at Sonic on the way home from Tennessee, and we will tell ya that it was quite possibly the most amazing food experience of our lives! First, they have absolutely anything our hearts would ever desire on the menu…it took us about 15 minutes just to decide.

Some of our favorites were the breakfast (and the fact that they serve it all day is pure genious), the grilled chicken wrap and salad, french fries, cheese sticks, all of their icecream, and something about a cake sundae that sounded positively sinful. We decided we could probably eat there every day of lives and have no regrets…except that extra 25 pounds we’d probably gain.

 Our only complaint was that it took big fatty 22 minutes to emerge from his cubicle and bring us our food.  A little slow for our liking, but don’t worry, we let him know!

We took a pic of the menu for ya Neil, in case you wanted to study it!

Well, we returned from our journey last night at about 10:30pm…and let us tell you, driving in the car four seven hours is not as fun as you might think.  You get pretty bored after the first 45 minutes.  We even played MASH, which I don’t believe either of us have played since we were 13.  We also played hangman, but I was done with that pretty quickly after Britt would guess mine before she even guessed a letter.  The category was “Celebrities” and I picked Paul Walker, and she just looked right at it for about five seconds and said, “Paul Walker”..what a jerk.

We didn’t make it through the ABC game twice, but we almost did once, except we got stuck on the X around Louisville, Kentucky and it was all downhill from there.

The following are some observations we made along the way:

1. Sometimes low-carb bars are really chewy, and they hurt your head.

2. Chris (Britt’s sister’s fiance) called while we were driving down there and asked if we wanted anything to eat from the store.  She told him we would have some turkey and some egg beaters.  He then wanted to know what egg beaters were, and she told him they were liquid eggs.  He responded in that southern accent, “why the hell ya’ll wanna drink eggs?”..it was pretty funny, he couldnt get past the fact that we put them in the microwave either.

3. During one of our outings in Nashville, we got a little lost in the “ghetto”, if you will. So we locked the doors, but the windows were down, and I look over and there are these two horribly trashy guys in a truck.  One of them is literally pouring his McDonalds french fries into his mouth.  So, I look over at Britt and go, “look at this guy, he’s pouring his french fries in his mouth!”…then I look back over at him and he is glaring at me with the, “ima kill you” look…he definitely heard me.

4. Britt’s dress fitting…a thing of beauty.  She told that seamstress what was up.  It really was an entertaining show cuz there isn’t anyone pickier than Brittany when it comes to clothes.  At one point the seamstress turns around and goes, “she was spoiled as a child, wasn’t she?”

5. Buckeye Pride, in the middle of Nashville, can lead to some interesting arguments.

We’ll conclude with this: THE BUCKEYES ARE #1, AND WE DON’T CARE WHAT ANY OF YA’LL SAY ABOUT A WEAK SCHEDULE AND CRAP LIKE THAT…STOP HATIN’!

This evening we will depart for the beloved Nashville, Tennessee!! This will be round two, and then round three will come the weekend of November 10th.  Britt’s older sister will be tieing the  knot, settlin’ down, selling her soul…whatever you wanna call it.  On the Agenda: 1. Go to Mitt’s dress fitting…should be riveting 2. Mingle with the fam 3. Various wedding planning activities 4. Find two husbands… 5. …rich ones!(these steps are very important) 6. Meet a movie star 7. Pick out our future homes 8. And other things we can’t tell you, or we’d have to kill you! Now, Cashville is approximately 6 hours away and last time it took us 10.  The reason:  We had to pee alot, probably from all the coffee we drank, or we just got bored, or whatever…Anyway you cut it, 10 hours for a 6 hour drive is unacceptable behavior. So, the following are things we would like to improve on: 1. Make the trip in 8 hours 2. Control our 2am cravings for McDonalds icecream cones 3. Obtain a more extensive music collection so as to not drive ourselves to within an inch of our sanity in the first 2 hours 4. Make it through the ABC game twice this time, instead of once…well almost once, stupid Z 5.  Meet less white trash folk at the pit stops 6. Do a better job driving…that ones for Britt! Well, we’ll be off shortly..we know you will all miss us dearly…try not to cry, we’ll be back soon! Hasta la vistaaaaaa babbbbyyy!

Last night we watched the Republican Presidential Debate.  Now, we will admit that we have probably not been doing enough research on our candidates, but we’re on the ball now! We both pretty much have liked Fred Thompson up till now, and I think we both still do, but we have new favorites to add to the list.

The other two that I think we liked best were Duncan Hunter and John McCain.  I don’t think Hunter is really up there in the polls, but he seemed real, and we like his stances.  John McCain is just a balls to the wall, this is what I’m about, no crap kinda guy, and I think that’s what we need.  He made the point that the American people have no confidence and trust in the federal government, and that’s real. We like both of them, but more research is needed!

I’ll tell ya who we didn’t like..and this is just our opinion, but for one, Ron Paul seemed like one huge butt-sucker! He was full of crap on a lot of the issues, and did anyone else notice that he either has one really big anger issue, or just tends to get a lil over-excited, making him look slightly psychotic! Not to mention the fact that he looks like he’s gonna croak any day now. I hate the fact he seemed to side with freakin Hilary Clinton (which fyi, we are moving to Canada to plan her assasination if she get elected) that the President needs approval from Congress in order to take military action.  Everyone else seemed to pretty much agree that the approval of Congress is definitely a plus and something one should do unless…there is an imminent threat to the United States and immediate action is needed.  The President has that right, and should have it.  Or we could just sit around and get blown the frick up while Hilary and Ron go ask Congress. Yea, good idea.

We also didn’t like Mitt Romney.  He was a little fake for our liking, and his “Michigan is personal” comment seemed like he was just kissing some major butt.  Rudy Giuliani didn’t score any points either.  He was cocky as all get out, and simply seemed more interested in making himself look good, than actually doing anything to benefit the American people.  Plus with all his and Romney’s nit-picking the entire time, I think they had their heads too far up eachothers butts to even notice what else was going on.

Well that’s enough poltical talk for now!

Britt and I have been best friends since 7th grade, that’s a long time, and there’s not that much that we don’t know about eachother.  But the other day we found out something we didn’t know.  I (Mary) have never carved a pumpkin before, and Britt apparently did it every year…I guess she had the kits and everything! I’m pretty sure she was thoroughly disgusted with me.  It’s not my fault though, I blame my parents.

Anyways, we decided that we would carve us some pumpkins this year! My first time ever!!!

Well, while trying out new routes to our house (tryin’ to beat the traffic) we discovered a huge field just full of pumpkins waiting to be rescued! So on Saturday night we stopped off in the field to snatch two of them.  Seeing as how it was “night”..it proved a little difficult to actually see them.  I turned the brights on to help me see while Britt stayed in the car to keep watch, ya know, with trespassing and all.  I picked up what I thought was a prize winning pumpkin only to get back to the car and have Britt go, “Sick, that things all smashed in and it has crap all over it..put it down.”  With my excitement squashed I headed back, only to decide that I couldnt see any better than before, and we would simply have to come back when it was light out, which is what a normal person would have done in the first place…plus I was getting a little scarred.

So we drove away, with no pumpkin…but we will be back!

Last night Britt and I are getting home and we’re standing right outside the door looking for our keys to open the door when two men come walking up the stairs.  Subconsciously I think both of us were thinking that we have never seen these two guys up here before, so it was kinda weird.

Next thing we know they are right up on us, scarring the daylights outa us! The one guy goes, “I bet you guys think we’re up here cuz we live in this biulding right?…well we don’t..” And both our hearts start to pound.  We’re thinking, well if you don’t live up here,  and you’re standing very close to me, this can’t be good.  He then goes on to say that they came up there to give us a blinking Bud Light pin…woohoo.

It was soon clear that they were both anything but sober..and it went downhill from there.  A cat bounds up the stairs, and they proceed to play with it, at one point throwing out on the roof, and then the other guy went to retrieve it.  Then they filled us in that they knew who we were cuz they saw us driving the other day and then they saw us walk in, so they knew where we lived, o goody.

Then they bring out the big question that we both always struggle with, the “can I have your number” one.  For some reason neither of us can ever think of anything good to say to get out of giving them our number, and neither of us seem to be able to grow the balls to tell them no.  We used to just give them the wrong one, but guys have apparently caught on to this scam, because now they all call the number you just gave them while you’re still standing there to make sure. So, suggestions are welcome here.

One more thing, I can’t imagine for the life of me why they would even want our numbers because we both looked like big pieces of trash.

Mary’s Attire: red Ohio State sweat pants and a greenish-blue tank top…doesn’t exactly match..and to top it all off, the fuzzy zebra slippers.

Britt’s Attire: Jeff’s stolen abercromie long sleeved t-shirt and shorts, that were covered by the shirt! Her hair was also done up in a lovely ponytail complete with headband.