mad props to the best brother in the world!

I now have my own customized “support our troops” bowling ball!

luv ya paul!

Here’s a list of things we learned over the past several days:

1. You should never park your car, even momentarily, on private property to “touch up” your makeup..the owners don’t like it.

2. 911 is a serious phone call that is not to be taken lightly.

3. There is an art to speeding that consists mainly of mirror/eye rotation working in perfect harmony..Bennett & Paul have yet to learn this.

4. When your tv won’t turn on, don’t get all dramatic and start making plans to cancel the cable before you check to see if the cord is plugged in all the way.

5. Sometimes its best NOT to “jam” quite so erratically to your music while driving..odds are you’re eventually going to see someone you know.

6. …& this is completely off the subject..but we made up a lovely “Ima stomp on that devil” jingle to the tune of “you can’t touch this” that is quite humiliating, yet very fun to do.

You know what is totally not cool to discover you have ran out of at 12:00am?

…toilet paper.

It’s not exactly something that you can go without…wanna know what else is not cool?

The delaware Kroger at 12:30am. Apparently cashier machines do not work properly after 9:00pm, and all employees develop foul moods.

Good news is, we’re stocked up for a while with 24 rolls. We decided to stop being cheap (or I did at least)…Britt still wanted to get the 6 pack Value Time toilet paper that was only .99 cents, which is probably why it doesn’t last all that long! I opted for the $5.95 24 pack Kroger brand! (we probably still need to do better!)

We hate Drug Mart.

We go there this weekend to rent a stupid movie cuz it’s only $1.99. We select a movie and then proceed to the checkout and wait in line for five minutes only to be told that we can only rent movies at the “makeup counter”…ok whatever.

So we head over there and stand in line, and the lady says that she needs my drug mart card. Sure, that’s fine, cuz I happen to have a little swipey card thinger on my key chain. The lady swipes it and then informs me that since I got that card at the gahanna location that I cannot use it here and will have to fill out a new form. This is slightly irritating because for real, what business doesn’t have their systems connected? I don’t need a seperate Kroger Plus card for every Kroger..but we can deal..so I fill out a new form and put Britt as the secondary card holder. Not because I really gave a rip if she had a swipey thing too, but because there was a spot for a “secondary card holder’s” name on the form and I figured, “what the heck”.

She spends forever typing my info into the computer while a small line begins to form behind us. Then when it seems like she should be finished, she pauses to stare at the screen for a while and then picks up the phone to the intercom and says, “I need a manager at the makeup counter immediately!”, like I’m some sort of criminal and the warrant for my arrest has appeared on her computer screen. Jokingly I turn to Brittany and say, “Well that certaintly doesn’t sound good”, all the while not really thinking too much of it. The manager arrives, and they begin a secretive/whispering convo, intermitently shooting us condemning scowls.

Britt & I are still joking with eachother but are beginning to become a little worried. Finally they acknowledge us, and the manger proceeds to let me know that I have a “deliquent account”. Ok, what does that mean??

Welllllll APPARENTLY that means that I have bad credit and am NOT allowed to rent a movie from drug mart…or at least thats what the half whit told me, to which I informed her that I have fine credit! So then we ask if Brittany can rent the movie. They say yes but she is going to have to fill out a form as well…so she does, which takes forever…and then she spends about ten more minutes on the computer.

THEN, she comes back and asks for both of our driver’s licenses AGAIN! Reluctantly we give them to her, and then she comes back and says, “Neither of you will be permitted to rent a movie from us, you both have deliquent accounts!”

WHHHHHHAAATTT!?!?! like seriously, so we may have forgotten to return a few movies to our local drug mart back in the day, but you’re really gonna ban us from the store!?! The lady even had the nerve to tell us that there was no number we could call when we asked for a corporate number & that we should probably contact our bank as this probably had something to do with our bad credit! Pardon our language, but what a whore! We may forget to return things such as movies & library books, but one thing we have is some freakin’ good credit!

It ended in us leaving drug mart in a complete walk of shame with no movie in tact. We could hear the snickers of the people behind us as we hung our heads..”can you believe those girls…”

Well, we have news for drug mart, we’re gon’ find that corporate number, and rip them a new one so hard they’re gon’ wish they never messed with Mary & Brittany…watch out hobags, you’re really in for it!

Yesterday morning i stopped by Starbucks to grab a pick-me-up. Now, the line was kinda long, there was probably 5 or 6 cars in front of me, but to be honest, I really didn’t feel like I waited that long in the line for how busy they were.

To my atonishment, I pull up to the window and am handed my drink, and the lady says, “It’s on us today because you had to wait!”

Now that’s customer service ladies and gentlemen. I can think of several places where I wait entirely too long in line and they aren’t busy at all, and there are no apologies given and they probably even mess the order up!

So mad props Star to the bucks!

So our horse experience proved to be nothing short of spectacular!

The Highlights:

1. Pris dropped her cell phone…twice

2. Es’ horse was the slowest thing ever at the beginning and we had to stop and wait for her to catch up every 5 minutes, resulting in a switching of the horse halfway through

3. “trotting” is our favorite, although it’s impossible to look good while doing it.  The best was when Es and I fell fell back behind the group and then violently kicked our horses until they shot forward in a lovely gallop…then we got reprimanded cuz apparently you’re not allowed to trot unless given permission.

4. Watching Pris and Britt try on helmets for protection (cuz they’re pussies) and then ultimately deciding against it after we made fun of them enough (pris had some “not wanting to get head lice” reason she came up with)

All in all, we loved every single minute of it, and want to go back every day for the next year! We’re also currently working on talking Ben and Kim into purchasing a steed for us..ya know, it could be a family bonding thing, and u know we’re all about that trash!

Let us know if u wanna come with!

Today Esther, Britt, Pris, and myself will be going horseback riding.  Es is the only one that has actually ever done this before, & that was only one time, so it should be good!

Besides the fact that I am absolutely dreading putting on a pair of tennis shoes, I am really very excited!  I’ve had visions of all four of us galloping off into the sunset, hair blowing in the wind….free as the birds….but I’ll let ya know what actually goes down!

It’s bad..everytime I get in the car I become paranoid with thoughts of horrible nasty spiders crawling on me.  I try to distract myself with music, then I swear i can hear them in the back of my head, and I’m consumed with thoughts of spiders crawling in my head, entering through my ears and then laying eggs in there..and then they all start creepy crawling out of my eyes…

…it’s really very sick.  This morning I even hit my leg  very hard 3 times in an attempt to kill the spider I just knew was crawling there.

So, my ride to work started off pretty well, I was just jammin’ along..zing ziggy zung zu zu zu zung where mah girls at…when I look over to my left and there is a horrible, awful, nauseating yellowish white spider crawling on my door.

I totally lost it.  I was screaming frantically while trying to find something to smash it to blitherings with..all the while swerving all over the freakin’ road alomst crashing. Finally, I do believe I’ve gotten it so I try to calm my racing heart beat and then I call Britt to tell her about this nightmare.  She laughs and says she thinks its funny so I hang up.

This is the best part.  I look over to check on the carcus and the bloody creature is still alive! It only has two legs left and it’s still moving! This sent me into pure panic mode and I begin erratically beating the door with my water bottle and screaming frantically.

All said and done when I calm myself enough I happen to glance in the rearview mirror to find that this dude is laughing at me and has just winessed my entire fit.  I’m pretty sure I have arachniphobia and I spent the rest of my commute to work searching for any relatives.

p.s I was gonna put some sick picture of a yellow spider to go along with this so you really get the feel of what I went through…but then I started projectile vommiting while searching for a truly disgusting picture.

mmmhhmmm, there ain’t nothin like a good blown up tire folks!  I especially like the violent shaking back and forth as I rocked my way from BP (where I foolishly tried to re-inflate my tire for 15 minutes before I realized the air was going straight in…& straight out!) to Tire Discounters on Gemini.

Have you ever been to Tire Discounters at 7:30 in the morning?  Yea, there’s not a whole lot of females up in there if ya know what I mean! It was actually quite nice, just chillin’, spending the morning reading a few car mags, checkin’ out some rims..and hangin’ with the fellas…I think I’ll spend more mornings over there in the future!….So, I now have 2 fresh tires  that will probably need “retorqued” soon..whatever that means..i also need my oil changed, like 300 miles ago.

On a sidenote, mad props to Perkilinda and Bratney for being my temporary taxi drivers…not so much pris though, girl drives like a nut..but i like crazy anyway…ride it like its stolen!