My friend Brittany drinks diet beverages like no other.  Our fridge is constantly stocked full of various diet pops.  She is hardcore.

The staples are normally diet Coca-Cola products, but recently there have been diet “Faygo” products.  I decided to ask her about the new switch and informed her that “budget people” drink Faygo…to which she was appalled and responded, “nuh uh Mary, poor people drink Big-K”.

It turns out that she is right because Faygo costs $1.19 and Big-K costs $o.69.  So I guess I’ll know she’s hit rock bottom whenI start seeing Big-K in the fridge!

we just got back from camp a few days ago..it was wonderful as always!

Esther came with us, and she took a liking to the golf carts.  One day, she kidnapped me and said we were going on an “adventure”.  I was a little apprehensive about this because she doesnt have the best track record when it comes to driving, but away we went.

She took me back to the jungles of Michindoh, and transformed into a mad women.  Racing at the speed of light, we flew over hills and dodged mud puddles as I held on for dear life.  The best part was when we tried to “catch air”.  It was truly quite the adventure es, thanx!

After my adventure was over we tried to kidnap Brittany, but she wasn’t having it, so we picked a new target…Matty Huber.  He was down to ride, but was in the middle of a meeting of the minds, so he declined as well…you missed out my dear Matty, next time!

It’s bad..everytime I get in the car I become paranoid with thoughts of horrible nasty spiders crawling on me.  I try to distract myself with music, then I swear i can hear them in the back of my head, and I’m consumed with thoughts of spiders crawling in my head, entering through my ears and then laying eggs in there..and then they all start creepy crawling out of my eyes…

…it’s really very sick.  This morning I even hit my leg  very hard 3 times in an attempt to kill the spider I just knew was crawling there.

Yesterday, we bought ourselves chocolate Easter bunnies…

..and then ate them..that’s awesome.

You know that feeling that you’re just gonna lose it at any minute?

Well, there’s a very fine line between sanity and insanity…that line is getting a little fuzzy…

…and I’m bout ready to blaze right over it!

We cleaned yesterday! (yes I know, shocking)

Anyways, normal people would probably get out their heavy duty scrub sponge, or something, to attack the countertops encrusted with week old food…but not Mary and Brittany!

What was our weapon of choice?..dah dah dah dunnnnnn…

The vacuum cleaner! I know what you’re thinking, Oh no they didn’t!…But Oh yes we did!

We vacuumed those countertops baby, and let me tell ya, it worked wonderfully!

Ya’ll should defintely try it!..It’s mitt & mert approved!

We saw our neighbor from across the hall the other night on our way in.

We exchanged our usual casualties, “Hey what’s up?”…”Not much, how bout you?”..etc.

Then he told us he feels a lil weird and zoned out because he is in the middle of detoxing so he can pass his drug test for his new job. Apparently there is a detox drink for weed, which was news to us.

We wished him good luck and bid him farewell.

Maybe they’ll get rid of that bong now.

Every now and  then we have these weird mornings where we can’t stop laughing and talk about the most ridiculous things…today was one of those mornings!

For some reason we were feeling somewhat vengeful and proceeded to make up elaborate stories about ways we would retaliate against those whom we feel have wronged us.

Then..we decided we were like Pinky and the Brain..and then sang the theme song..twice.

Sometimes Mary is Pinky and Britt is the Brain, and sometimes Britt is Pinky and Mary is the Brain..depending on our mood.  And sometimes, we are both the Brain and we have to recruit the Pinky.

Pinky:”Hey Brain, what are we gonna do today?”

Brain: “The same thing we do every day Pinky…TRY AND TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!”

Britt and I have been best friends since 7th grade, that’s a long time, and there’s not that much that we don’t know about eachother.  But the other day we found out something we didn’t know.  I (Mary) have never carved a pumpkin before, and Britt apparently did it every year…I guess she had the kits and everything! I’m pretty sure she was thoroughly disgusted with me.  It’s not my fault though, I blame my parents.

Anyways, we decided that we would carve us some pumpkins this year! My first time ever!!!

Well, while trying out new routes to our house (tryin’ to beat the traffic) we discovered a huge field just full of pumpkins waiting to be rescued! So on Saturday night we stopped off in the field to snatch two of them.  Seeing as how it was “night”..it proved a little difficult to actually see them.  I turned the brights on to help me see while Britt stayed in the car to keep watch, ya know, with trespassing and all.  I picked up what I thought was a prize winning pumpkin only to get back to the car and have Britt go, “Sick, that things all smashed in and it has crap all over it..put it down.”  With my excitement squashed I headed back, only to decide that I couldnt see any better than before, and we would simply have to come back when it was light out, which is what a normal person would have done in the first place…plus I was getting a little scarred.

So we drove away, with no pumpkin…but we will be back!

We visited Wal-Mart today to browse the icecream selection for some low fat/low carb icecream.

Some people apparently are in quite the hurry.

I guess we were taking just a little too long for this woman because she starts acting very irritated, like she can’t get to what she wants because we are in the way.

Trying to be kind and courteous, Brittany says, “Feel free to move the cart or go around us, we’re just looking.”

To which this rude skank goes, “Oh yea, I mean I’m really not gonna take a million years to pick out my icecream.”

Dumbfounded looks crept across our faces as she walked away.

We decided that if we saw in the store later, we’d run her over with our buggy.

And then we decided that we’d repent later for our un-Christ-like attitude.