Britt and I got the itch to go running yesterday.  Mind you, neither of us have ever “gone running” on a consistent basis, much less enjoyed it.  So we left the house around 9:30pm, made a stop at red lobster to eat with Paul, then headed over to a random neighborhood around 10:45pm. 

We’re really out of shape! After stretching, lol, and then feeling ridiculous cuz we were pretty sure that people were watching us from the window, we began our “run”.  We lasted a solid ten minutes then booked it back to the car!

But that was a good start for us! So we’re doing it again tonight, and hopefully we can only progress from here!  I still don’t get how anyone could actually enjoy running though.

I went to get my ball drilled at Dick’s (a sweet name) the other day, and it was quite entertaining.

I use my index and middle finger to bowl with, and apparently you’re supposed to use your middle and ring finger, so the dude seemed slightly perturbed when I tried to tell him that this was the way I do it.  Then I picked out the same size hole for all my fingers, which I guess you just “don’t do”..it’s my ball dude, what do you care??

The fact that I got my finger stuck in the sizing hole three times, was only slightly embarassing…and if Brittany would stop announcing to everyone within ear shot when she has to pee, that would be great.

Here’s a list of things we learned over the past several days:

1. You should never park your car, even momentarily, on private property to “touch up” your makeup..the owners don’t like it.

2. 911 is a serious phone call that is not to be taken lightly.

3. There is an art to speeding that consists mainly of mirror/eye rotation working in perfect harmony..Bennett & Paul have yet to learn this.

4. When your tv won’t turn on, don’t get all dramatic and start making plans to cancel the cable before you check to see if the cord is plugged in all the way.

5. Sometimes its best NOT to “jam” quite so erratically to your music while driving..odds are you’re eventually going to see someone you know.

6. …& this is completely off the subject..but we made up a lovely “Ima stomp on that devil” jingle to the tune of “you can’t touch this” that is quite humiliating, yet very fun to do.

You know what is totally not cool to discover you have ran out of at 12:00am?

…toilet paper.

It’s not exactly something that you can go without…wanna know what else is not cool?

The delaware Kroger at 12:30am. Apparently cashier machines do not work properly after 9:00pm, and all employees develop foul moods.

Good news is, we’re stocked up for a while with 24 rolls. We decided to stop being cheap (or I did at least)…Britt still wanted to get the 6 pack Value Time toilet paper that was only .99 cents, which is probably why it doesn’t last all that long! I opted for the $5.95 24 pack Kroger brand! (we probably still need to do better!)

We hate Drug Mart.

We go there this weekend to rent a stupid movie cuz it’s only $1.99. We select a movie and then proceed to the checkout and wait in line for five minutes only to be told that we can only rent movies at the “makeup counter”…ok whatever.

So we head over there and stand in line, and the lady says that she needs my drug mart card. Sure, that’s fine, cuz I happen to have a little swipey card thinger on my key chain. The lady swipes it and then informs me that since I got that card at the gahanna location that I cannot use it here and will have to fill out a new form. This is slightly irritating because for real, what business doesn’t have their systems connected? I don’t need a seperate Kroger Plus card for every Kroger..but we can deal..so I fill out a new form and put Britt as the secondary card holder. Not because I really gave a rip if she had a swipey thing too, but because there was a spot for a “secondary card holder’s” name on the form and I figured, “what the heck”.

She spends forever typing my info into the computer while a small line begins to form behind us. Then when it seems like she should be finished, she pauses to stare at the screen for a while and then picks up the phone to the intercom and says, “I need a manager at the makeup counter immediately!”, like I’m some sort of criminal and the warrant for my arrest has appeared on her computer screen. Jokingly I turn to Brittany and say, “Well that certaintly doesn’t sound good”, all the while not really thinking too much of it. The manager arrives, and they begin a secretive/whispering convo, intermitently shooting us condemning scowls.

Britt & I are still joking with eachother but are beginning to become a little worried. Finally they acknowledge us, and the manger proceeds to let me know that I have a “deliquent account”. Ok, what does that mean??

Welllllll APPARENTLY that means that I have bad credit and am NOT allowed to rent a movie from drug mart…or at least thats what the half whit told me, to which I informed her that I have fine credit! So then we ask if Brittany can rent the movie. They say yes but she is going to have to fill out a form as well…so she does, which takes forever…and then she spends about ten more minutes on the computer.

THEN, she comes back and asks for both of our driver’s licenses AGAIN! Reluctantly we give them to her, and then she comes back and says, “Neither of you will be permitted to rent a movie from us, you both have deliquent accounts!”

WHHHHHHAAATTT!?!?! like seriously, so we may have forgotten to return a few movies to our local drug mart back in the day, but you’re really gonna ban us from the store!?! The lady even had the nerve to tell us that there was no number we could call when we asked for a corporate number & that we should probably contact our bank as this probably had something to do with our bad credit! Pardon our language, but what a whore! We may forget to return things such as movies & library books, but one thing we have is some freakin’ good credit!

It ended in us leaving drug mart in a complete walk of shame with no movie in tact. We could hear the snickers of the people behind us as we hung our heads..”can you believe those girls…”

Well, we have news for drug mart, we’re gon’ find that corporate number, and rip them a new one so hard they’re gon’ wish they never messed with Mary & Brittany…watch out hobags, you’re really in for it!

So, my ride to work started off pretty well, I was just jammin’ along..zing ziggy zung zu zu zu zung where mah girls at…when I look over to my left and there is a horrible, awful, nauseating yellowish white spider crawling on my door.

I totally lost it.  I was screaming frantically while trying to find something to smash it to blitherings with..all the while swerving all over the freakin’ road alomst crashing. Finally, I do believe I’ve gotten it so I try to calm my racing heart beat and then I call Britt to tell her about this nightmare.  She laughs and says she thinks its funny so I hang up.

This is the best part.  I look over to check on the carcus and the bloody creature is still alive! It only has two legs left and it’s still moving! This sent me into pure panic mode and I begin erratically beating the door with my water bottle and screaming frantically.

All said and done when I calm myself enough I happen to glance in the rearview mirror to find that this dude is laughing at me and has just winessed my entire fit.  I’m pretty sure I have arachniphobia and I spent the rest of my commute to work searching for any relatives.

p.s I was gonna put some sick picture of a yellow spider to go along with this so you really get the feel of what I went through…but then I started projectile vommiting while searching for a truly disgusting picture.

mmmhhmmm, there ain’t nothin like a good blown up tire folks!  I especially like the violent shaking back and forth as I rocked my way from BP (where I foolishly tried to re-inflate my tire for 15 minutes before I realized the air was going straight in…& straight out!) to Tire Discounters on Gemini.

Have you ever been to Tire Discounters at 7:30 in the morning?  Yea, there’s not a whole lot of females up in there if ya know what I mean! It was actually quite nice, just chillin’, spending the morning reading a few car mags, checkin’ out some rims..and hangin’ with the fellas…I think I’ll spend more mornings over there in the future!….So, I now have 2 fresh tires  that will probably need “retorqued” soon..whatever that means..i also need my oil changed, like 300 miles ago.

On a sidenote, mad props to Perkilinda and Bratney for being my temporary taxi drivers…not so much pris though, girl drives like a nut..but i like crazy anyway…ride it like its stolen!

What happens when you’re snowed in from Friday afternoon till Sunday afternoon?

Answer: You get fat

Why you ask, well..because you have nothing better to do than eat!  We started out good, but 3 movies, 5 hours of trashy television, one sugar free cake (we don’t recommend), and about 6 magazines later there simply wasn’t anything left for us to do!

 So, about 5pm on Saturday we were having mad cinnamon roll cravings (our advice:don’t ever start, cuz once you do there’s no stopping!) so we decided we would venture out to our local Kroger.  Bad idea.  We got stuck at the top of our small hill for approcimately 36 minutes.  Just picture alot of vrooming and smoke and you can pretty much get the picture.  At one point I even got out to give a little push, but to no avail. 

When we finally broke free we realized that we probably shouldn’t be out on the road..it was a teeny bit dangerous.  For this one, just picture a few slippity slides and spinning outs, and then driving with the windows down because wipers with ice on them really do no good at all. Then Kim called to inform us we would probably be receiving a ticket soon since we were on a level 3 and all.

We survived though & we even got our cinnamon rolls.

Lastly, we would just like to thank our  proactive and hardworking apartment community for plowing our developement in a timely manner just like they said they would…NOT!

Some of you may know, Paul got a new car a little while ago..it’s a honda civic I believe..and I remember when he got it my parents telling me that it was the only one like it in the state.

 Haha, I know sometimes they just tell ya that so you feel cool, but I really thought it was.

So yesterday morning, Britt and I are driving to work and we are getting ready to turn onto Gemini from Polaris pkwy and we see an electric blue honda civic exactly like Pauls sitting at the light.

We assume it must be him, seeing as how he has the only one…and we proceed to make a huge scene.

I mean I’m honkin’ and Britt and I are waving like fools..my light finally turns green..and I honk some more and we wave some more only to see this poor man sitting in his car…scarred straight outa his mind.

As you can guess, it wasn’t Paul…and we managed to completely mortify ourselves..and all before 8am!

This year Britt decided that she wanted a Northface Fleece. So we’re lookin’ through the ads on Thanksgiving to see if we see any deals and we find Sports Authority’s Ad.  It said that they were giving out gift cards that would range anywhere from $10-$100 to the first 100 people through the door!

 We decided then and there that we would be in that magical group of 100 people.  The store was opening at 5:30am, so my dumb butt suggests to Brittany that we arrive at 4:00am, because of the high volumes of traffic I was sure that Sports Authority would be facing.

…WRONG! There wasn’t a bloody soul in the parking lot at 4 o’clock in the morning! We had left at 3:30am and everything just to be on time! In fact people didn’t start showing up till 5:15am.  To pass the time we took ourselves to McDonalds and called people who we knew would be really pissed if we called them that early! After about ten people were in line we decided to go ahead and get out of the car and head on up.

We made it about 6 minutes before we went whimpering back to the car because it was so cold.  Only at a cost though, they made fun of us, we heard the lady in front of us snicker to her friend that “geez it’s not that cold out here!”

YES IT FREAKING WAS LADY!

So then we sat in the car and counted the people that got in line after we got out, till we got to about 81, then we headed back out to hell. It was awful and we probably only stood there for 15 minutes! People are stupid.  The three girls in front of us must have just shot up heroine or something because they wouldn’t shutup and I don’t know anyone that talks that much at 5am.  I kid you not, they talked about how they had already been to JC Penny and Kohls and how they mapped out in the ads what they wanted so they could run right to it.  They were completely insane.  I think if I had to stand out there a minute  longer my butt would be in the slammer for poppin’ the three girls in front of me.

And all for…of course, the $10 gift card…even though I believed God for a solid 30 minutes for the $100 one…just wasn’t in the cards I guess!